I am ready to propose that premature balding has become a problem for many men. It is a national, no international, crisis. Premature balding puts men at a serious disadvantage when it comes to finding a mate. The reason for this current crisis is clearly evident. The blame for premature balding can be placed directly at the feet of, yep you guessed it, global warming. Apparently, the drastic change in global temperature of .08 degrees has caused the male scalp to boil, therefore resulting in the loss of cranium hair in an attempt at cooling the scalp. Not only is global warming killing all known life on earth but it is seriously cramping the style of many men. We must demand that our government do something, anything, whether it works or not, whether it puts people out of work or not, whether it is stupid or not, to solve this issue. Please call your Congressman, the President, Al Gore, or whoever else has his head up his posterior and demand that action be taken now! The courtship of the female must continue!